Help! Clean home anyone?

I need some advice.

I like neatness - beds that are made, floors that are uncluttered with paperscraps and toys, a table that is ready to be set without a major clean-up of school papers, art projects, and toys, and the ability to grab a coat and shoes without tripping on a thousand other ones scattered around the area. I can have those things if I clean them up or direct the children to do so - C-O-N-S-T-A-N-T-L-Y! Am I living in a dream world to think our home could be more organized and in order with a little more initiative coming from EVERYONE?

I have to be honest and tell you that I can be a lazy housekeeper. Our kitchen is in disarray right now because after AWANA last night and getting the children into bed, I crawled into bed myself instead of putting the supper dishes in the dishwasher and washing them. Lazy. I usually make it a point to never crawl into bed at night without the dishwasher humming and a load of laundry washing, but lately my mojo has gone noshow!

I also have the battle of living with no example. I absolutely adore my mom and had a great childhood, but a clean house just hardly ever happened. We never had any regular chore routines and I made my bed maybe 3 times my whole growing up! From lack of experience or know-how, I am afraid I have led my children in a similar way. I like things neater than my mom and on the whole my home is much cleaner, but again I do all the cleaning and picking up or at least the directing of it.

My children are 6 and 4. They are absolutely wonderful kids! I never have a problem finding people to watch them because they are so delightful, but in the taking care of toys and picking up department there is much to be desired! If I ask them to return to a room to turn off the light or call them from outside to pick-up the game they abandoned to go outside they will do it right away, but when do they move into the "do-it-on-their-own" phase? I know a huge part of it, again, is that I have not trained them to do this.

I think my husband is gone a lot, too, and I'm running the show alone. Maybe I'm just a whiner. I'm sharing his schedule because I need to know.
Mondays: Office 8-5:30, 7p.m. - ? meeting one Monday evening a month
Tuesdays: Office 8-5:30
Wednesdays: Office 8-5:30, AWANA in the evening (we all are there)
Thursdays: Office 8-5:30, 6-10 practices
Friday: Home?
Saturday: Office 8-4ish?
Sunday: Church (we are all there), 5-9:30 Youth Group
So? Whiner?

We battle time issues so often and cleaning up rooms before supper means late supper (because I have to be right there helping) and cleaning rooms before bed means late bedtime or no bedtime story. I have gone that route to help the kids learn that their choice to leave toys out and not pick them up right away means they lose something good (the bedtime story), but it just doesn't seem to be sinking in. I had really been working on them and trying to stay on top of messes and be proactive, but it seems to have backfired.

I was sick on Sunday and Monday and could hardly get out of bed (that lovely influenza season). It would stand to reason that I was also unable to keep up with my usual duties. As a result, it is Thursday and we still haven't recovered from mom being out of commmission for a little over 24 hours. My son balked at me about having to clean yesterday so I took him on a walk. We went to every room in the house and I asked him if things were in order and if he thought that room would be a nice place to be. He couldn't say "yes" to a single room!

My pathetic cry for help is this - if you grew-up with a good example of how to keep house, or if you have methods that work - please share them with me! I really want to be a Proverbs 31 woman in the upkeep of my home but really have few resources to draw on. Molly Doodles? I think I could use some tips from you! You keep up with your blog, homeschool, scrapbook, and your house and I need to know the tips! I need specifics even down to the nitty gritty schedule of a typical day and when your kids clean and just what they do.

Now, I'm off to exercise, grab a coffee, and tackle my son's room (with son's help)! And yes, dishwasher is humming, master bed is made, and clothes are ready to fold and put away! At least that is done -

Can you say, "Toxic Mold"?

Another project has been consuming my time and it isn't nearly as fun as writing a book. MOLD!

My DD has always battled low immunity, colds, stomach flu, and allergies - except for a brief time when we lived in a new house that only had mold in the vinyl windows. As long as I cleaned those windows on a regular basis she would stay VERY healthy! I think in a 2 year period she had maybe 2 colds - period.

Then we moved. I could smell the mold in the basement (I had become an expert "sensor" of the stuff) but hoped it was only my fearful imagination. It wasn't. After a little over a year in this house she has suffered illness after illness. Since November she has not been healthy one full week! She has had the stomach flu 3 times, too many colds and fevers to count, and just never feels good.

I finally declared WAR! The main problem is that we don't own our home. We live in a parsonage and that means it is owned by the church my husband co-pastors.

The church was so wonderful and gracious in doing a ton of remodeling before we moved in. We practically have an entire, brand new upstairs - new carpets and floors, new bathrooms, new kitchen, and all new paint. It is hard to think of all the work we now need done in the basement and asking for their help to do it. But we cannot ignore it any longer.

I have been spending a lot of time tearing out moldy sheetrock and treating walls and floors with bleach. We also are trying out some heavy duty air purifiers and arguing over the purchase of them. Of course I think we need one for the main house and another one for our daughter's room. My husband thinks one will be enough.

My most discouraging moment came today when I used a mirror and light to look in the wall behind the bathtub/shower. I am so afraid that what I see is mold and the only way to get to it and clean it is to rip out the surround. This would also mean taking out the toilet. We have already had help to take out the old sink and vanity, clean the mold, and put in a pedestal sink. But, the mirror shows the same blackness that I saw in a corner that I could reach and when I bleached it the blackness disappeared indicating that it was mold. It is only along the floor and not the whole wall, but still, the only way to reach it is ripping things apart. And what if I am wrong? Or what if that little bit doesn't matter (although I have a hard time believing that).

Please pray that we make the right decisions, that we present it accurately to the church, that it is received well, that they are enthusiastic to help and that God provides the expenses needed. I am SO willing to take out a loan to fix everything so that our daughter can be healthy even though we don't own the house.

Well, off to get lunch for my crew and then put the dryer back in place so I can wash and dry clothes (the wall behind the dryer is shared by the tub on the other side - so I moved the dryer to tear out the sheetrock).

Later -

I'm My Favorite Flower!

Just for fun I took this quiz a cyberfriend had on her blog. Thought I'd add the link to my own blog. Gain some insight into your personality and take the quiz yourself! Here's my results:

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

A taste of my book beginnings...

In my studies for my book I came across I Corinthians 11:5-10, "And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head-it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head. (from New International Version)

Now, I know there is A LOT in that passage that raises questions! I have been reading a lot of commentaries and studying the Greek/Hebrew as best I can. I have an idea or "twist" that has been formulating and I am praying and reading more to see if there be truth in my idea.

The basic "jist" is this - since the garden of Eden woman has had an incredible amount of power or influence over man. Adam did not even hesitate to take a bite of the forbidden fruit from Eve. I dare say that if the serpant had approached Adam, he would have refused with no problem. But woman? Ahhhhhh, the spell she puts him under.

It is because of this power, I believe, that Paul was asking the women to cover themselves when speaking - to remove all distraction and ensure that the words spoken were pure and from God and not just the allure and manipulations of a woman. The word "meek" has also been used in this passage and I heard a great definition of meekness - it is "power under control". The word is used in reference to a lion in the NT I believe. So it is not a definition of weakness or a subordinate, but of much power choosing to be gentle and subdued. A woman choosing to be submissive out of love and respect for her husband, knowing the power and manipulation she COULD use over him would be ungodly.

I have other scriptures, Greek/Hebrew root words, etc. that I will be using in my book to further back this up.

It has been eye-opening and humbling! I don't think we could ever exhaust the depths of a Proberbs 31 woman!

My bottom line has always been this - the Proverbs 31 woman is such an incredibly high standard that the only way we can "measure up" is to surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit and use his fruit to accomplish the many tasks. God did that on purpose - why would we need him if we could do it on our own?

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes

My son and I have been spending moments every day painting. Sounds like a fun Mommy-Son time, huh? Actually, it has been. But wait until you hear just WHAT we have been painting. His comic book. Well, it isn't actually a comic book but a digest of the Marvel X-Men. My son loves superheroes and pours over anything associated with them. When Hubby and I saw this digest, we didn't hesitate to buy it. We figured it wouldn't be full of violence since there were no stories, just stats, etc. about each character. What it was full of was a shocker! Here's an article I posted about the experience.

OH BE CAREFUL LITTLE EYES

I am shocked, horrified, but surprised? No, not one bit. Of what do I speak? Pornography – in my son’s comic book character encyclopedia! Without really do my homework, I gave in to his pleas and bought the book for him at our school’s book fair. He poured over that book even before it was even paid for. I felt pretty confident in the purchase at the time. Since this was not an actual comic book, just information on all the characters, I didn’t worry about violence and never dreamed the following would happen.

While looking at the book with his father, my son pointed out a particular page that he was drawn to. On that page there was a line-up of superheroes, and every one of the women were drawn in sexy lingerie! My husband was horrified that our 4 year old son had just been exposed to something we had tried so hard to protect him from.

With our son being only four years old, we couldn’t fully explain to him what was so disturbing to us, nor could we explain to him just WHY he was so drawn to those pictures. We did, however, discuss modesty and privacy and point out that those women were not being modest. We also told him that they were dishonoring him by not respecting God’s protection of privacy. He connected with that.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us to, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Matthew 5:27, 28 says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his HEART.” (emphasize mine) This is very sobering! From Jesus’ very lips we are told that what we allow before our eyes, or our sons eyes, can lead to sin!

In a corrupt, sensual society it is impossible not to see sensual images. However, it is possible to deal with them in a Godly manner. 2 Corinthians 10:5b advises us that “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” It is our hope that our son will develop this discipline, but I’m afraid the concept is a bit beyond him at the age of four. That means it is our responsibility to guard his heart. If we do not, we are not leading him into a wellspring of life, but rather into a cesspool of death. Anyone addicted or caught in the world of pornography would be quick to agree that that is an accurate description.

So, what did we do? Momma got creative with the craft paints and is happy to say that all the female characters have been re-outfitted by her masterful design and exhibit perfect modesty. We also have a new rule that NO material comes into our home without a complete inspection by both parents. This may become a rule that is bucked and resented, but we are confident it is worth sticking to and even fighting over.

I also plan to contact Scholastic and ask them to remove the book from their book fair. We were able to deal with the damage quickly and pray that Jesus will forgive us for our irresponsibility and protect our son from negative effects. I'm not so confident that a lot of other parents are doing the same. I shudder to think of all the young boys even now starting down a destructive path as a result of this book!

Our children need us to guard their hearts and our society needs us to stand up for what we know is right! I can't change the whole world, but I do have a world of influence over one young man in the making. Someday, Lord willing, he will have a world of influence over his own young man in the making. May I have the strength and wisdom to affect our future by doing right by these two lives.

All scriptures quoted from the New International Version.

Still here...

It's been a bit of a spell since I've posted! Just wanted to say that I am still here, still plugging away at life.

I have a book project! I am in the study process and have a feeling this will be taking a while. However, I am very excited about what I will learn and the final book outcome. My plan is to write a book of "daily reflections" on Proverbs 31 and what that looks like to us as woman of today. Since I have yet to figure it out, I again say - this will be taking awhile. But the journey looks exciting!

Family life is getting a bit chaotic lately. I'm not sure where the problem lies, but my son seems to "melt-down" quite a bit lately. I thought maybe he was just getting sick (daughter had the stomach flu for the 3rd time since September!) but that never came to be - thank goodness! I think he is just bored. He is such a people person and has never been one to play well by himself. With his sister in school, Dad pretty busy, and me kind of "vacant" lately, I think he just feels lost. He has a friend he likes to play with but doesn't get together with him often. I should invite him over more, but I just don't seem to have what it takes to manage 2 boys, lately. Could be part of the grieving process we are all still working through.

I have been so unmotivated! I can think of a million things that should be done, yet I struggle to care to do any one of them. I did go to the doctor yesterday and I do have a bit of an infection. This could be part of that lack of motivation - I just don't feel well. But I sense it is more than just that.

Laundry is calling (it's "clean sheet saturday"!) and I really want to write an article for this weeks challenge. So I best be going, just wanted to check-in. I hope you all have a lovely day!


"To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me." Colossians 1:29 NIV