Help! Clean home anyone?
I need some advice.
I like neatness - beds that are made, floors that are uncluttered with paperscraps and toys, a table that is ready to be set without a major clean-up of school papers, art projects, and toys, and the ability to grab a coat and shoes without tripping on a thousand other ones scattered around the area. I can have those things if I clean them up or direct the children to do so - C-O-N-S-T-A-N-T-L-Y! Am I living in a dream world to think our home could be more organized and in order with a little more initiative coming from EVERYONE?
I have to be honest and tell you that I can be a lazy housekeeper. Our kitchen is in disarray right now because after AWANA last night and getting the children into bed, I crawled into bed myself instead of putting the supper dishes in the dishwasher and washing them. Lazy. I usually make it a point to never crawl into bed at night without the dishwasher humming and a load of laundry washing, but lately my mojo has gone noshow!
I also have the battle of living with no example. I absolutely adore my mom and had a great childhood, but a clean house just hardly ever happened. We never had any regular chore routines and I made my bed maybe 3 times my whole growing up! From lack of experience or know-how, I am afraid I have led my children in a similar way. I like things neater than my mom and on the whole my home is much cleaner, but again I do all the cleaning and picking up or at least the directing of it.
My children are 6 and 4. They are absolutely wonderful kids! I never have a problem finding people to watch them because they are so delightful, but in the taking care of toys and picking up department there is much to be desired! If I ask them to return to a room to turn off the light or call them from outside to pick-up the game they abandoned to go outside they will do it right away, but when do they move into the "do-it-on-their-own" phase? I know a huge part of it, again, is that I have not trained them to do this.
I think my husband is gone a lot, too, and I'm running the show alone. Maybe I'm just a whiner. I'm sharing his schedule because I need to know.
Mondays: Office 8-5:30, 7p.m. - ? meeting one Monday evening a month
Tuesdays: Office 8-5:30
Wednesdays: Office 8-5:30, AWANA in the evening (we all are there)
Thursdays: Office 8-5:30, 6-10 practices
Friday: Home?
Saturday: Office 8-4ish?
Sunday: Church (we are all there), 5-9:30 Youth Group
So? Whiner?
We battle time issues so often and cleaning up rooms before supper means late supper (because I have to be right there helping) and cleaning rooms before bed means late bedtime or no bedtime story. I have gone that route to help the kids learn that their choice to leave toys out and not pick them up right away means they lose something good (the bedtime story), but it just doesn't seem to be sinking in. I had really been working on them and trying to stay on top of messes and be proactive, but it seems to have backfired.
I was sick on Sunday and Monday and could hardly get out of bed (that lovely influenza season). It would stand to reason that I was also unable to keep up with my usual duties. As a result, it is Thursday and we still haven't recovered from mom being out of commmission for a little over 24 hours. My son balked at me about having to clean yesterday so I took him on a walk. We went to every room in the house and I asked him if things were in order and if he thought that room would be a nice place to be. He couldn't say "yes" to a single room!
My pathetic cry for help is this - if you grew-up with a good example of how to keep house, or if you have methods that work - please share them with me! I really want to be a Proverbs 31 woman in the upkeep of my home but really have few resources to draw on. Molly Doodles? I think I could use some tips from you! You keep up with your blog, homeschool, scrapbook, and your house and I need to know the tips! I need specifics even down to the nitty gritty schedule of a typical day and when your kids clean and just what they do.
Now, I'm off to exercise, grab a coffee, and tackle my son's room (with son's help)! And yes, dishwasher is humming, master bed is made, and clothes are ready to fold and put away! At least that is done -
posted by "Ruby" @ 6:33 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Dear Ruby,
My heart goes out to you! It would be difficult with two little ones and your husband working long hours. Personally I never dreamed running a home could be so challenging until I gave up my career a year ago to keep home! (Presently I’m back at work temporarily). Have you ever seen the movie “Woman of the Year” with Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy? It’s about a successful career woman who eventually makes the transition back to the home. Quite funny, one of my favorites.
As Jezreel suggested, FlyLady.com is an excellent resource. Flylady helped me get on track. Some of her ideas are quite fun so you can get the kids involved too (27 fling boogies, 5-minute room rescues etc). Be sure to sign up as a 'flybaby' and you'll be sent reminders and helpful testimonies (all free of charge). Flydlady leaves no stone unturned - so she appeals to our perfectionist natures. You’ll have a beautifully organized and clean home – just follow her e-mails and lessons and take it slow.
Another huge lesson I learned was about priorities in the home - perhaps you're more advanced than me - but ‘priorities’ were a real revelation! My priorities are now as follows: 1. Regular meals on time 2. Washing and ironing 3. Tidy house 4. Imperative shopping 5. Auxiliary things. Apparently personal appearance is meant to be the top priority, but I’m not quite up to that level of functioning yet!
If I come across anything else useful I will post it if you like.
Best wishes
Ugh... I hear your dilemma!
I consider myself pretty organized, but come the weekend or my occaisional evening at work and the clutter can quickly collect and overwhelm!
When Noah was about 5, and Doodle was 3 we did a daily "chore chart." It had just the basics in one section: brush teeth, make bed, open curtains in your room, get dressed. They had to mark each chore as they completed it every day.
The next section was their individual chores. One boy watered the dog and the other gave her a scoop of food. They had to pick up the floor in their room. Noah was able to spray down the 1/2 bath (not a down and dirty cleaning, but a shine-up), and Doodle would do little things like put away the silverware.
Now those everyday chores are habit, and I need just to say "morning chores" (bed,dressed, teeth, floor of your room) and they know- that's 4 things. "Bedtime chores" (pj's, teeth, floor, potty) and they are off (That doesn't mean I don't redirect the wrestling that inevitably occurs throughout the process).
Spring and fall I try to do a de-junk in every room. I can maintain after that, but the clutter kills me. If I let too much collect I get overwhelmed and don't upkeep.
I did do the FlyLady for a bit, and I love her little games, but I signed up for the e-mail reminders and cancelled after a week because they came so often I just got discouraged! I couldn't keep up. It was all friendly enough, just felt like bombardment. I like the site www.getorganizednow.com . They have a daily checklist of little things to organize.
One other thing I've tried is a box system with a 3x5 card for each day of the week with specific chores/rooms for each day. You have numbered tabs for the dates of the month and when you finish you card for the day you stick it in the tab for the next week. This kept me up on all the cleaning, but I was a bit overzealous making the to-do's on each card and burned out. It was neat, though because you could do weekly, bi-weekly and monthly cards and just stick them in on the date of the month you need to do them (bills, grocery shopping, etc.).
I have to say my kids are very helpful at 4,6 and 8. The eight year old recently wanted to earn some money. I thought about where I could use help. Where could he step in to alleviate stress. The basement (our play/family room) is a stresser for me. I have to go through it to get to the laundry room and when different bins are all dumped- I am unsettled, even if I'm not down there. Worse yet is when there is one thing from every bin left out. We made a deal that he would get a small allowance each week if he would take on the responsibility for that room. He needs to check each night that it is straightened. He doesn't have to clean up all his sibling's toys (he's at school during the day, they aren't), but needs to make sure it's done. He's the foreman for that area and it's been good for him to work on leading in a right way. So far we are all happy with the results!
I by NO means have this mastered. I'm always looking for ways to steamline organizing and chores. I don't want to do everything for my kids, but in that have to realize that as children they aren't going to do everything to my standards- it's a learning process and my job to lovingly bring them there.
Let's chat more! jakedahl@hotmail.com
-- Molly
Flylady, Flylady, Flylady!
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