Sippy Cup Moments

Birth Control and Lost Brain Cells.

2007-10-25T05:06:00.000-07:00

Oh, I'm so sorry.

It just occurred to me that this title may have been a bit misleading. It would appear that I have some great new found knowledge of a link between birth control and brain loss. Um ...

What were we talking about?

No, no, no, no! We are not talking science here. Try talking little arms and legs throwing toys in every imaginable space in your home. Picture the contents of a diaper BACKPACK strewn across your living room, for a diaper bag would be much, much too small to contain the multitude of gadgets needed to keep a baby content for that half-a-minute!!

Yes, we are talking about the ultimate birth control - watching 6 children all at once!! Now I realize for some of you this is a walk in the park and you do it every day. However, I am not you. I am a lover of peace. I am a lover of being able to walk all the way across a room - unhindered! I like to walk without a second thought as to just what may find its way under my foot - optimus prime, legos, dress up jewelry, ponies, poopy diapers!! I do not do chaos well.

In a moment of weakness I agreed to watching my sister's 3 kids, my friend's daughter, and of course my own two cherubs. That makes one 8 year old, one 6 year old, one almost 6 year old, two 4 year olds, and a 7 month old. Did I say a moment of weakness or insanity? Add into this mix that my youngest nephew is teething and just finishing up steroids to help him heal from a case of RSV. Shudder!!

I think that covers the birth control part.

The lost brain cells part? The other day I threw some chicken breasts into the crockpot ... and forgot to put the lid on. When I discovered my error a few hours later I added a bit of water and put the lid in place. A couple of hours after that, just before I grabbed the veggies to peel and cut-up to add to the stew, I remembered that no one was going to be home for dinner! Not only had I made a mess of our meal, I had made a mess of a meal that never had to be cooked! Ugh!!!!

Today? I spray painted a pumpkin silver. Does that have to do with anything? I don't know. I just did it.

Needless to say, my chocolate stash is fastly declining, my home is going to take a week to unbury, and my nerves need a detangler. At the end of the day you'll find me in my bed in some state of dress or undress, staring into a room buried in the day's unfolded laundry and unread library books. If you listen really close you'll hear me mumbling something about "not EVER" to the miniature G.I. Joe hiding in the covers.

Is it friday yet?

The "Roomlift"

2007-10-20T06:19:00.000-07:00

Cost of paint, borders, and other supplies:
Less than $50.00

Cost for garage sale overalls son painted on:
$1.00

Cost for socks sacrificed to the paint god:
#3.00

Cost for cleaning paint out of the carpet:
?

Cost for allowing an almost 6 year old to paint walls with me:
See above

Cost for chiropractor after moving a heavy, wooden, Lamborghini bed BY MYSELF!:
$35.00

Cost for letting son sleep on MY SIDE of the bed with daddy while I slept with daughter in guest bed while paint fumes settle:
A morning of washing sheets and scrubbing the pee’d on mattress

Cost for working side-by-side with son re-creating a more grown-up room?
PRICELESS

So little time, so many blogs!!

2007-10-04T04:46:00.000-07:00

I have become a blogging addict!

It all began here. A tentative toe in the blogging waters. Mmmmmm, it felt nice. A place to rant, rave, recall, regale. A place to share my heart and discover that others' hearts were beating to a similar tune.

With courage I firmly stepped into the waters and added another blog with a more in-depth profile and community. I stayed planted there until the waters were familiar enough to no longer be felt.

I stepped out a bit further and added yet another profile on a site I had previously been terrified of! It wasn't scarey - it was fun!

But now my toes were so far under the water they were being ignored...and have continued to be ignored.

I'm hoping to dig them into the sand at the bottom of the water and remember the place that started it all. Hopefully I will do a good job of keeping up, attracting readers (for what is the point if no one sees my public musings?), and continuing my venture in the sea of blogs!

Open war is upon you...

2007-07-12T07:17:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite lines from the Lord of the Rings trilogy is from The Two Towers. It sends chills up my spine each time I hear it.
KING THEODEN: I know what it is you want of me but I will not bring further death to my people. I will not risk open war.
ARAGORN: Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not!
You know why that line resonates so with me? Because we are ALL at war. While this war may not be of our choosing, it is upon us whether we choose to fight it or not. The enemy is very active and EVIL! He will stop short of NOTHING to win. If you choose not to fight, he wins.
My mind has been spinning with a million things surrounding this topic. I desperately want to write a devotional or SOMETHING about this, but it is so hard to pull all the loose ends together into something coherent! I'm hoping some of this blog musing will help.
When I think of war, I think of soldiers. When I think of soldiers, I think of training. How many soldiers do you know that do not have to have any training? And how many soldiers go through mild training - a few drills here and there, a nap, some play time, etc.? Yet how many Christians face each day of this battle with no training? In Ephesians 6 the apostle Paul lists the weapons and protection we need in this battle. This is not just a list of suggested items - they are mandatory!! If we are going to defeat this enemy who does not play by the rules, we need an arsonal.
Ah, then my mind gets side-tracked thinking of the enemy and his weapon. Yup - one. But it is such a powerful weapon it is all he needs. Every one of his soldiers is well equipped with it. Deception! And they are all masters at using it. If his deception were easy to spot, it wouldn't be so effective. But he is soooooo subtle! I feel very confident in saying that he has a subtle deception in place in every believer's life. I'm not saying that it is the same deception for everyone, but I'm sure it is there.
Does that make you mad? Ask yourself this. Do you struggle with an habitual sin? Do you "discuss" someone's situation or their behavior toward you with someone other than that person? Are you involved in your church only on Sunday morning...and maybe then only as one who warms a seat? We are called to serve, to live in unity, to be free of sin that entangles. We are told that the truth will set us free. If we are not truly free, we are being deceived. The deception of the enemy is keeping us from seeing our freedom and the lies are holding us back from being able to walk in that freedom.
James says to "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." I believe the biggest deception the enemy has put into place in believer's lives is that they are completely submitted. If he can hide the ways we are not submitted, we will think all is okay and that the enemy does not have his hold on us. This opens the door to more control of the enemy in the guilt feelings that come when we fall into sin again and again. We think we are just hopeless. We are a sorry excuse for a Christian. THAT IS A LIE! We are just blinded to some truths that we need - our belt of truth is in need of repair.
Ah, again, there is so much floating around in my brain and I'm having a hard time roping it all in. I hope some of this has made sense and I will use this post, add scripture references, add things, shift things around, and maybe someday I'll have an article or put it into a study form. I don't know. I am an extravert. That means I think outloud so most of what I say is unfiltered. I just speak it all out and sort through it all after it's been said. Not a good thing and it gets me into trouble. I really should take up journaling again so that I can think outloud in that and then only say what is necessary and beneficial.
Anyway, I so need to go do devotions with my cherubs and get moving. We have another wonderful, full day. Oh-oh, and deardaughter just informed me that her throat hurts again. Upon further investigation (a look in the throat) I think the anti-biotic didn't do it's work. Add a doctor call or visit to the long list! Aye-aye!

An "Above-and-Beyond" God!

2007-07-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, our daughter has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome - a form of autism. It makes life a little more exciting and unique and hasn't been a negative thing in the least for us. We have always enjoyed our daughter and her little "quirks". Her diagnosis has actually brought some sighs of relief because we now understand why she can't always answer us or process certain things.
School brought the realization that our daughter's "quirks" needed some outside intervention to help her function in a world that can't always embrace or understand these quirks. She also needs to learn different ways to process things necessary for successful communication and life.
Another milestone experience this past week - Summer Bible Camp - reinforced the continued need for extra intervention. We really had no idea what we needed to do to prepare her or the camp. This is a first for us! We did alert the camp that she has Asperger's, but didn't know how much further to go with it. We REALLY didn't want her labeled and carrying a stigma before she even got there! So we did what we know to do from the getgo - we left it in the Lord's hands.
For a month I pleaded with the Lord that he put in place exactly what DearDaughter needed. After all, he created her. Who better to understand her and know what she needs than the one who knit her every cell together!? What a peace and comfort this knowledge has given me over and over. I am so glad I know and love this Creator and that he is intimately involved with me and my children! One specific prayer I prayed was that DearDaughter would have a counselor that was a mom and that this woman would just bond with DearDaughter and understand her.
When we brought DearDaughter and her friends to their cabin to settle them in, I met the counselors - one of them a mom. And my "above-and-beyond" God knew that this mom was the perfect counselor for her because this mom had a son with Asperger's! My heart was full of praise and I left feeling very confident. But God's provision didn't end there!
We had no idea if DearDaugter would have emotional melt-downs or not. Like I said, this was a first and we just can never predict how she is going to react to situations. However, God sees and ALWAYS knows. She did have many melt-downs and these can be very intimidating if you don't know what you're dealing with. She doesn't do scarey or weird things, she just falls apart and cries over little things and not much consoles her. We have learned how to deal with it and scratching her back usually helps. We did share this information with them, but my guess is that since it wasn't Mom or Dad doing it, it was an irritation rather than soothing.
Here's where God stepped in again and answered prayer. The woman across the hall was a pera who works with Asperger/Autistic children in school! She knew of pressure points and different massage techniques that work to calm these children down! She used these on DearDaughter and they worked. Praise God! Again he provided what was needed - for everyone! Someone with the patience and understanding needed to bring calm to camp atmosphere and relief for DearDaughter who was overwhelmed by things she couldn't process.
It really didn't even end there - the other counselor in DearDaughter's room has a brother with Asperger's. DearDaughter was surrounded by people who could understand the unique characteristics of this syndrome. Who else but God could have put all this in place?
All-in-all, it was a great experience for DearDaughter. When she finally adjusted back into life at home, she was overflowing with stories of camp. That's a big deal because part of Asperger's is the inability to use words to communicate what is going on in the brain. I have learned that when she wants to talk, I drop EVERYTHING and listen! What a joy to hear all the wonderful experiences stored in her brain. She truly loved camp and can't wait to go again. And why not? She's got a faithful "Above-and-Beyond" God who loves her. What more can a mommy ask?

Say "Bismillah" and eat!

2007-01-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

I am up to my eyeballs in garlic! We are hosting our annual open house on Sunday and this year we chose to do an Egyptian Christmas theme - that is why our open house is in January instead of December - in Egypt, Christmas is celebrated on January 7th. We usually have around 80 to 100 people in our home!

And our home smells so good right now with all the garlic and cumin! I can't wait to eat it all. Kofta, falafel, baba ganough, tahina sauce, koshari. Compared to our American diet, Egyptian food is actually a bit bland but I love it! It is an acquired taste and I have acquired. It's also quite good for you with all the olive oil, garlic, beans, and vegetables. We also use brown rice so that we get the whole grain.

I'll take pictures and post an update after it is all done. What a way to relax! A cup of coffee, computer in my lap, feet up, waiting for pictures to load to my website. Sounds like a retreat to me!

I'll catch you all later!

Oh Dear! Four months?

2006-12-15T07:53:00.000-08:00

Nope, I'm not pregnant. In fact, my body has begun the process that will end that chapter of my life completely.

Nope, I talking four months since my last post. Yikes! How did so much time slip by? I really don't have time even today to fill you in on much - which isn't much - but I couldn't let a day more pass without something!

I gave you a hint at what life is bringing at the moment - perimenopause. Fun!! It's an adventure, ladies! More fiber, more vitamins, less coffee, less sweets...less room in your clothes! I will have to share all about it when I don't first spend all my free time on Bible Studies and forums!

The writing is on hold and I am agonizing about it. I really want to write, but not sure just where to focus my writing. My interests span the boards and of course that voice of doubt is always there. Is that really what you are supposed to be writing? You don't have anything new or interesting to say. You just don't have what it takes. Your time would be better spent someplace else.

I am hoping a writer's workshop this summer will help me sort out those voices and awaken the creativity in me that seems so stifled so often. I DO have what it takes, I just have to be certain the path I am on is the right one.

My time is exhausted. The shower is calling, my husband has been patiently waiting for his turn on the internet, and kids are gonna need food! Not to mention the Christmas season and all the extra fun - baking, making and wrapping gifts, decorating, the list goes on.

Later my friends and family (if you haven't given up checking this site for anything new and actually see this post!).

BodyWorlds Impressions

2006-08-22T13:09:00.000-07:00

We just returned this week from a two-week vacation. We had so much fun and crammed so many adventures into that time! One of the highlights was our day at the Minnesota Science Museum walking through the "Body Worlds" exhibit. Dear Daughter was so excited! We left our hotel for the 90 minute drive to the exhibit and right away she asked, "How many minutes?" We finally had to tell her not to ask anymore.

The wait was definately well worth it, however. The exhibit was amazing and as you can see from the pictures, left quite an impression with our Dear Daughter. We were at the home of dear friends in Wisconsin when she asked for chalk to draw on their patio. When we went out to observe her creations, we had a delightful chuckle to discover she had included the digestive systems with all her drawings - even a flower. How priceless!

I must add also that she is only 6 years old! She is an amazing artist. Just look at that picture she drew of a regular flower - I know I am a bit extra prejudiced, but she really is good!

Of course our son couldn't let the chalk drawings go without a submission from him. He's is a budding artist in his own right. He excells in his imagination. His explainations of his pictures will make great stories one day!

Ah, we did so much more but I must tend to dinner at the moment. I must say I am having a very difficult time finding my zeal for moving back into the break-neck speed of real life. My motivation to return to daily chores and routines is slow in returning. I just may need to invite company over to give me the push I need to move the cooler back out to the garage, finish that laundry, and keep the kitchen clean!

Okay, going to move the cooler now...

A Novel Experience

2006-07-28T11:20:00.000-07:00

I just submitted my first chapter ever of a novel! I am so excited I have goosebumps.

This is my second collaborative work with a group of christian writer's called - PeP (Peculiar People). The first project was a Chat-A-Book project. We met every Monday in a chatroom and dialogued a story - each person "acting" out their part. Our coordinator, Amy, is in process of editing it into a radio drama. It is a science fiction story called, "White Planet".

This second project is a mystery novel written by 23 different writers, each one in charge of a chapter. We have a secret web board where we have been posting and chatting about the plot, characters, etc. so that we are all on the same page, sorta.

It will be interesting to see how it all turns out. We have a schedule of deadlines and are on track so far. If we stay on track, the book should be out in January. Unfortunately, as part of the contract, I cannot post anything actually from the book yet. As we get closer to the publishing date I think I will be able to. I'll keep you posted!

I have a plan...menu, that is.

2006-07-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

I have added a blog! It is called, "What's For Dinner?" (see the link down there?).

I am so tired of having to spend money on money-saving menus or tips that really aren't for the every day person and certainly are not what I am looking for! So, to be a problem-solver, not a whiner, I am making my own!

This is an experiment and very much a work in progress! In fact, my first post says "4 recipes" and I only had time today to type in 1! Sorry. I will be getting back to it in bits and pieces and hope to have it set by the end of the month.

A word of caution, however. I have a story deadline of July 31st and have a lot to do yet to meet that. Also, this whole menu thing is what I am doing for real - right now! I can only post and make changes as I try these recipes and methods myself. So again, be patient with me as I work out the kinks and hopefully eventually come up with a very helpful resource!

I have to find a way to type up a bit of an intro to the method of my dinner madness, but don't have time to do any more today.

Later!

Ahoy Me Matey!

2006-07-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I had a great date! We took the youth group to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest at 12:01 a.m. on opening day! It was so much fun. We all dressed up like pirates and were the only ones there with the same idea (in other words, the only ones having fun, right?).

I'll tell you this, though. I ain't what I used to be! It took me all of friday to shake the drowsiness of being up in the middle of the night. Today I think I finally feel a bit normal. Well, as normal as I can be. (wink, wink)

In comment about the movie itself - I really liked it, but it was a bit too over the edge at times. Some of the stuff was a bit too much to swallow even for a "fantasy" story. AND NOTHING GETS RESOLVED!!!! It is the most hanging of any cliff hanger I have seen. I would say wait to rent it just before the next one comes out next summer so your insides won't be eaten away waiting for some resolution. I think we will have to be purchasing the DVD the day it comes out so we can watch, watch, and rewatch to try to catch clues to help clear up some of the mystery.

My screenwriter's newsletter has a comment on the movie that I have not had a chance to read yet. I'll be interested to see what they have to say about from a writer's standpoint. Personally, as a writer, just about the whole beginning could have been cut. It really didn't do much to advance the plot in this second movie - it just made it a really long movie! Maybe it will be crucial in setting up the plot for Pirates 3. Who knows?

I will say this in positive comment - it was a long movie, but not long enough! I could have kept watching it and not even noticed the time. At least they did that well.

Camping has been redeemed!

2006-06-22T06:46:00.000-07:00

We returned from our wonderful camping/canoeing trip yesterday afternoon - dirty, sweaty, exhausted...and so blessed! The kids did great and really enjoyed themselves. It was so fun to see my son come alive the second night around the fire - enjoying the company of the other kids, roasting marshmallows, listening to the stories, and staying up wayyyyy past bedtime! He is so social!
Dear daughter preferred the solitude of camping and fled the onslaught of bees and mosquitoes for the retreat of the tent. She had brought many (if not ALL) of her ponies and her new bunch of sea creatures and enjoyed the fresheness of the outdoors through the screens of the tent as she was whisked away in her imaginations with the animals. She also had fun playing in the river with her sea creatures - the COLD river I add! She also had moments of real fun with the other kids and got to see a baby catfish and even watched tadpoles moving inside the safety of their eggs. She was on cloud nine!
I would love to share some more spiritual insights gleaned on this trip, but I sense this is one of those times where I just revel in the togetherness of the experience and leave it be at that. (Or maybe it's the tiredness that still lingers, the mountains of laundry still waiting - in spite of the 4 loads I did right away yesterday! - and the fact that my late sleeping children need to get moving and have some breakfast that compels me to end my post. ;))
Blessings!
Ruby

Relay for Life

2006-06-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

Last night we had our annual Relay for Life to raise money for the American Cancer Society. Some of you may have gotten an email from me with a link to my fundraising page.

This picture is one of the luminaries we made for Paul's dad. The kids helped shave crayons and I ironed the shavings between wax paper to make our "stained glass windows". We are very pleased with how they turned out. We will be doing this again next year (especially since my mom and her best friend are the Co-chairs of the event!) and we will gladly make luminaries for your loved ones! When it is time I will again have a webpage just for Relay for Life and can send you link. For any size donation that you can make safely right online we will make you luminaries. I can take a picture just like the one above and send to you as a keepsake.

For those who are not familiar with RfL, it is an all-night affair! My husband and Brother-in-Law DJ the event all night so I get to come home with the kids and sleep in my own bed until hubby comes home in the faint light of dawn and claims it! It does end up to be a late night for everyone, however. I think my cherubs were finally on their way to dreamland around 11:15 last night! Paul has had so many commitments as of late that from Wednesday afternoon until sometime this Saturday afternoon I will have seen him a total of about 1 hour! He hasn't even been home to sleep in his own bed! Needless to say, last night when the kids were in bed I had to pop in Lord of the Rings for a little mommy "fun time"! When I headed to bed my book "Redeeming Love" beckoned me and before I knew it, it was 2 a.m.! *Yawn* Glad I didn't have much planned for today! We all leave for a canoe/camping trip on Monday so today is laundry/plan/pack day. We did our big shopping trip last week to replace the camping chair broken during last year's trip, get DS his first sleeping bag, and add a new 5 day cooler to our ancient regular old red one. The kids are so excited! Every morning they ask how many mornings until we go camping. It has been years since we have tent camped and even since then we have only camped twice. Why? You ask? Check out this account of our last tenting experience and all questions will disappear!

A Nightmare to Remember

I best end this post before I ramble on forever! I just really need to say a "Thank You!" to those of you who have been praying for me. We are still muddling through the house issues (and now our central air died on top of it all with no hope for fixing it!) and family issues surrounding the seemingly never-ending task of grieving, but I can see it all working to build patience, forgiveness, and just plain character. I just wish I would "catch on" a little quicker each time!

I leave you with a couple more pictures from last night. Blessings to all and to all a good ... night?

(okay, forget the pictures, according to blogger my pictures have been added but I have no idea where they are being added to because they aren't showing here!)

Jesus PERSONified

2006-05-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

From the moment I wake until about 2 hours before bed I have been plagued with a cotton head and over all sense of not feeling well. I know without a doubt I am once again battling depression and hopelessness. Fortunately I do have a natural suppliment that helps, unfortunately I gave our last bottle to a friend who needed it worse than me. I just need to hang in there a few more days and our next batch will be here.

I really struggle with knowing if my maladies are something physical or if there is something spiritual to it. It is understandable that I would feel hopeless when I have spent over a month working on a shower that leaks and had some mold that was BRAND NEW a little over a year ago - and it STILL LEAKS! I know it is time to let someone at the church know, but what good will that do? Our garbage disposal still leaks, the furnace/ac still leaks, the basement window is still moldy, the carpets are still moldy, the bathroom is still moldy, and each mention that someone is going to help us with that is met by yet another week with no one showing up. My house is a disaster! (and we had been doing so well) because I so feel like "what's the point?".

But, I need to end this pity party because it gets us NOWHERE! My main reason in posting today was not to complain, but to share an insight from Sunday morning.

I need, no CRAVE to see Jesus in physical form! I am so desperate for the warmth, security, and comfort of his hug. I need to hear his words, "It's going to be okay. Just lean on me, I'm going to take care of it. You can depend on me." I know he says this in his word and I have been reading and praying a lot to connect with that - and it does to a point. But haven't you ever craved to feel his physical presence? To actually touch and smell him, to see him face to face? I get goosebumps thinking about it!

But I think Jesus intended us to get tastes of his physical presence in one another. I hope that doesn't sound weird or "wrong". I will explain what I mean. All the things I crave - the hug, the words of strength and encouragement - Jesus can give me those by the people around me. My problem right now is that the primary people (or person) around me is just as low as I am. My husband couldn't speak words of confidence or encouragement to me to save his life right now! He is walking a deep valley as well. However, that got me thinking...

Am I being Jesus PERSONified to him (my husband)? God doesn't call me to serve out of my strength because HIS strength is made perfect in my weakness! (2 Cor 12:9) Am I speaking words of encouragement to him? Am I physically reassuring him with a hug, a look of confidence, holding his hand to show him my support? I don't have to be strong to do these, just obedient.

On the same vein, am I being Jesus PERSONified to my children? What do they need from Jesus through me? The biggest "revalation" has been how alone I feel as I battle my way through life right now, do my children feel the same? For example, my son was playing with a balloon he got last night. As balloons that get played with usually do - it popped. Of course a royal fit followed. We prayed, we talked, the fit went on, and on, and on. I didn't let the bad behavior go unnoticed without consequences, but rather than talk, dish out consequences, and leave him to pull himself back together, I just held him, sat by him, and let him know I was there. He knew I wasn't going to fix the balloon or rush out to get him a new one, but he felt the comfort of my presence - he knew he wasn't alone.

This has changed some of my prayer time. I make a commitment right now to seek God every single day to show me how to be Jesus PERSONified and who needs him. Not just in thought or distant deed, but in my physical presence. And I still selfishly pray that someone else will be stirred to be that for me!

Ruby, Wherefore Art Thou?

2006-05-11T12:43:00.000-07:00

Time flies when you're having fun? Just call me a "handyWOman"! I've been painting, caulking, researching how to do home repairs, etc. My dad is a carpenter and I am discovering some of it has worn off on me. I really enjoy it!

Why am I doing all this? The mold issue again. Things are slowly happening but there are still so many questions. Keep praying that we would have wisdom and resources. I've been praying alot for the church board this week. My husband shared a bit of their conversation from the board meeting on Monday and they sound discouraged. Because I have suspected the problem for a long time, I have traveled the "one day encouraged, next discouraged, another day sure there is no hope, back to encouraged" road many times over already! At this point I am currently in the "encouraged" category until the next spot of mold or lack of response happens.

The land next to us is for sale. I don't think buying it and building a house is feasible, but that hasn't stopped me from praying. With God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! If this is the right solution, God will provide. Go ahead and join me. Bottom line though, fixing the current house we have is cheapest - and I really do like our house - ALOT!!!! The church has already put so much work and money into it the last 2 years that the thought of abandoning it makes me a bit sick. I could never be so ungrateful! Honestly, if we knew we were here for the next 30 years (the time of the mortgage) I might put a bit more serious thought into that new house thing, but at this point I will only inquire of the Lord to provide his best solution - he knows what that is. And I will joyfully receive it!

I wish I could post away and add so much more, but life and duty call (and caulking another bathroom). Until next time...

A Whirlwind Week of Blessing!

2006-04-21T08:34:00.000-07:00

I am so exhausted, but so incredibly blessed!

We spent the week with Hubby at a YWAM campus along for the ride as he taught a class for their School of Biblical Foundations. Of course the campus is right where we used to live so the kids and I ran around each day catching up on visiting with old friends - and we had a chance to meet new ones, as well!

I cannot even put into words how blessed and full of love I feel right now. I marvel at how good God has been to us in friends. The joy and encouragement that comes from walking alongside others that you love is unmatched. It is so good to be able to just pick-up where you left off and share your hearts.

And of course, as I mentioned, we were blessed to meet new friends! Through blogging I met another young mom with a heart for Jesus. We discovered we once lived just 2 blocks from each other but had never met! We had an incredible visit and our kids played so well together! It was a day full of blessing. We now have another family to add to our list of treasures and ones we will make every effort to see each chance we get. I was so blessed by my new friend's grace and wisdom. You are an awesome Proverbs 31 woman and comrade, Molly! I so thank you again for our visit!

I could go on and on with special notes to the people I love that I was able to reconnect with (yes, that means you too, my very dear soul friend Joy! and Liz, I am always so encouraged with our talks - I so forget about your rebellious past until you remind me because Jesus has truly done such a transformation and continues to. I not only know, but can SEE that you are a princess! and the Tuesday morning ladies have been one of the most important groups of women I have ever had the priviledge to know and be a part of - I love you!) but many extra chores are waiting! We just pulled in last night, but tonight we have a big fish fry at church (yum!) and I must bake for that, and tomorrow we host the children's Sunday School teachers at our house with yummy (hopefully) deserts as a thank you for their servanthood this past year. I also forgot to pack all my Proverbs 31 study material and desperately want some time to study that today.

Be blessed today with love and simple treasures!

Ruby

When the going gets tough...the tough go SWIMMING!

2006-04-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

With all the tensions at church, mold and illnesses at home, and the general all around stress of the daily grind, we decided we needed a little time out to play as a family. Jim Burns in his book, 10 Steps to a Happy Family, suggests that a healthy family does this. (Excellent book by the way. We also met Jim at a retreat he spoke at and enjoyed visiting with him. He has a new book coming out in July on Creating an Intimate Marriage that we are going to go through as well)

We are blessed to live in an area that has 3 water parks! Being off-season and a weeknight, the rates were lower than usual and with no school today it made a perfect time to take advantage! We are so glad we did!

Water fights with hoses, sliding down water slides, tubing down the "river" and splashing through the "rapids", followed by a dip in the outdoor hot tub made a picture perfect night!

What a treasure this moment is! It's definately a night we will always remember.

I love you more than words can say my precious family!

New Toy and Old Project Finally Done!

2006-04-10T15:22:00.000-07:00

WE HAVE A DIGITAL CAMERA!!!!!! We have wanted one for years, but trying to be wise stewards, it always ended up one of those wants that placed just low enough on the list to never get.

Finally we felt it was something we could do and we set a price limit. God is so good! We got a digital video camera that also takes 5.2 megapixal digital stills, an extra warranty plan, bag, extra battery, extra lens cover, and tapes all within our budget! We had $9.00 to spare even. I have already used it for AWANA council times and taken tons of pictures.

I also finally got some scrapping done! My four (almost 4 1/2) year old son had surgery when he was 14 months old to pull down and anchor a testicle that just wasn't wantin' to go where he should! I bought the cute doctor stickers and paper with band-aids shortly after meaning to do the page right away. Well, obviously I didn't.

But here they are now! Just wanted to show them off.

I have TONS more to post! But I have to get hustling if I'm to "oversee" the bedtime chores and get kids to bed at a decent hour. We also have a super busy week and a trip to pack for. THAT'S one of the things on my "want to post" list. I met a cyberfriend through blogging and found out this week we used to live just a couple of blocks away from each other - and never met! We are going to meet next week! How cool is that? The next thing on the list is our first family helicopter rides. A friend of ours owns one and he took us up last week. Of course I have pictures, just no time to upload them at the moment.

Later -

I've been tagged!

2006-04-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

I'm taking the time to do this MAME (is that what it is called?).

4 Jobs I've Had:
1. Mommy
2. Teacher at an Alternative High School - worked in the daycare for the teen
mommies little cherubs and c0-taught some classes (Boy did they get a deal!
I was a licensed high school Social Studies teacher but hired as the daycare
lady - have credentials for that as well - only the daycare pay was 1/2 of
what a teacher's pay was)
3. Packed fish at a fish plant (Morey's)
4. Waitress

4 Movies/Shows I've Been Addicted To:
1. LOTR
2. LOTR
3. LOTR
4. Oh yeah! LOTR (okay, seriously - LOTR, Grey's Anatomy (don't throw things at me, my sister knows the guy who plays Alex - Justin Chambers - from church and I was curious, then got hooked) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Return to Me)

4 Places I've Lived:
1. Small town in Minnesota
2. Small town in Wisconsin
3. Small town in Minnesota
4. Minneapolis/St. Paul

4 Countries I'd like To Visit:
1. New Zealand (also fell in love with it while watching LOTR)
2. Australia
3. Holy Lands
4. Scotland (family roots there)

4 Popular False Assumptions About Me:
1. I am confident
2. I am not shy
3. I have led a pristine life
4. I have a storybook marriage (does anyone?)

4 People I Look Like:
1. Melissa Gilbert
2. Julianne Moore
3. Pippy Longstocking
4. My mother

4 Things I Hope To Do Before I Die:
1. Absorb every moment I have with my loved ones (feel
"happy-full" with them)
2. Lead someone to Christ (have led my two children to
Him)
3. Write a book/Bible Study, have it published, and speak
publicly about it (like lead seminars)
4. Be in a movie or a fill-in for empty seats at the Oscar's

There, now it's your turn Molly Doodles (unless you've already done one).

Bible Study Sample

2006-04-04T10:14:00.000-07:00

First off I have to say a big, "Thanks" to you gals that sent some great suggestions my way concerning a clean home. The "chore charts" are going into effect this week! The kids already did some of the things on the charts, so there shouldn't be too big of change for them.

Okay, back to the topic of today. I think I am going to make my Proverbs 31 book into a Bible study. I know there are a thousand out there so this may not be wise. It just seems to be the right way to go. To help me gauge good-idea vs. bad-idea, I am posting a part of one of the days of study. I can't post it all because that constitutes "publishing" and I may not be able to use it in the final study book. If you want more (I am still in process of writing it, hoping to finish it today) email me and I will send you the rest of this one study. If you like it, you'll just have to buy the book when it comes out - if it ever does! So, here goes!

Proverbs 31:12 “She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.”

In Proverbs 31:10 we learned that as women, we have an incredible amount of influence over men. This influence can be used to honor and bless our men and God, or it can be used for selfish gain. How tempting it can be on a weak day to use it for selfishness! It’s not just a stereotype that a woman’s tears melt a man! Men are wired to save us from our distress! Tears awake his knightly heart. What about withholding our words? I am ashamed to admit the many times I have used the “silent treatment” to manipulate my husband. These are but only two ways a woman can use her influence in an ungodly way. I’m sure you can think of many more!

Read I Corinthians 7:4-5 and describe another way a married woman could use her influence for harm?

Have you ever been tempted to use your influence to get what you want?
Describe what you wanted and what you did to get it.

In our verse for today, there are two key words I looked up. The first one is “good”. The word here is used as a noun and according to the North American Encarta Dictionary it means, “something resulting in a beneficial effect or state, something worth having or achieving”. Comparative words for good are “high-quality”, “decent”, “enjoyable”, “skillful”, “helpful”, “nice”, “well-behaved”, and the noun form of “benefit”. So in other words, a virtuous woman is a benefit and contributes something worth having into the lives of her men. Strong’s Greek/Hebrew dictionary uses these words to give us a picture of what the author meant by “good”: joyful, kindly, pleasant, prosperity, and sweet.

The other word, of course, is “evil”. Again the North American Encarta Dictionary defines evil as, “wickedness, a force causing harmful effects, something evil as in a situation or thing that is very unpleasant, harmful, or morally wrong”. Strong’s uses these words to help give us a picture of “evil”: adversity, calamity, displease, distress, noisome, sore, trouble, and vex.

Read Proverbs 21:19 and Proverbs 25:24. What kind of wife is described here and where does it recommend a husband of this wife live?

Want more? Email me: just_pearls_2@yahoo.com

Help! Clean home anyone?

2006-03-30T06:33:00.000-08:00

I need some advice.

I like neatness - beds that are made, floors that are uncluttered with paperscraps and toys, a table that is ready to be set without a major clean-up of school papers, art projects, and toys, and the ability to grab a coat and shoes without tripping on a thousand other ones scattered around the area. I can have those things if I clean them up or direct the children to do so - C-O-N-S-T-A-N-T-L-Y! Am I living in a dream world to think our home could be more organized and in order with a little more initiative coming from EVERYONE?

I have to be honest and tell you that I can be a lazy housekeeper. Our kitchen is in disarray right now because after AWANA last night and getting the children into bed, I crawled into bed myself instead of putting the supper dishes in the dishwasher and washing them. Lazy. I usually make it a point to never crawl into bed at night without the dishwasher humming and a load of laundry washing, but lately my mojo has gone noshow!

I also have the battle of living with no example. I absolutely adore my mom and had a great childhood, but a clean house just hardly ever happened. We never had any regular chore routines and I made my bed maybe 3 times my whole growing up! From lack of experience or know-how, I am afraid I have led my children in a similar way. I like things neater than my mom and on the whole my home is much cleaner, but again I do all the cleaning and picking up or at least the directing of it.

My children are 6 and 4. They are absolutely wonderful kids! I never have a problem finding people to watch them because they are so delightful, but in the taking care of toys and picking up department there is much to be desired! If I ask them to return to a room to turn off the light or call them from outside to pick-up the game they abandoned to go outside they will do it right away, but when do they move into the "do-it-on-their-own" phase? I know a huge part of it, again, is that I have not trained them to do this.

I think my husband is gone a lot, too, and I'm running the show alone. Maybe I'm just a whiner. I'm sharing his schedule because I need to know.
Mondays: Office 8-5:30, 7p.m. - ? meeting one Monday evening a month
Tuesdays: Office 8-5:30
Wednesdays: Office 8-5:30, AWANA in the evening (we all are there)
Thursdays: Office 8-5:30, 6-10 practices
Friday: Home?
Saturday: Office 8-4ish?
Sunday: Church (we are all there), 5-9:30 Youth Group
So? Whiner?

We battle time issues so often and cleaning up rooms before supper means late supper (because I have to be right there helping) and cleaning rooms before bed means late bedtime or no bedtime story. I have gone that route to help the kids learn that their choice to leave toys out and not pick them up right away means they lose something good (the bedtime story), but it just doesn't seem to be sinking in. I had really been working on them and trying to stay on top of messes and be proactive, but it seems to have backfired.

I was sick on Sunday and Monday and could hardly get out of bed (that lovely influenza season). It would stand to reason that I was also unable to keep up with my usual duties. As a result, it is Thursday and we still haven't recovered from mom being out of commmission for a little over 24 hours. My son balked at me about having to clean yesterday so I took him on a walk. We went to every room in the house and I asked him if things were in order and if he thought that room would be a nice place to be. He couldn't say "yes" to a single room!

My pathetic cry for help is this - if you grew-up with a good example of how to keep house, or if you have methods that work - please share them with me! I really want to be a Proverbs 31 woman in the upkeep of my home but really have few resources to draw on. Molly Doodles? I think I could use some tips from you! You keep up with your blog, homeschool, scrapbook, and your house and I need to know the tips! I need specifics even down to the nitty gritty schedule of a typical day and when your kids clean and just what they do.

Now, I'm off to exercise, grab a coffee, and tackle my son's room (with son's help)! And yes, dishwasher is humming, master bed is made, and clothes are ready to fold and put away! At least that is done -

Can you say, "Toxic Mold"?

2006-03-25T10:00:00.000-08:00

Another project has been consuming my time and it isn't nearly as fun as writing a book. MOLD!

My DD has always battled low immunity, colds, stomach flu, and allergies - except for a brief time when we lived in a new house that only had mold in the vinyl windows. As long as I cleaned those windows on a regular basis she would stay VERY healthy! I think in a 2 year period she had maybe 2 colds - period.

Then we moved. I could smell the mold in the basement (I had become an expert "sensor" of the stuff) but hoped it was only my fearful imagination. It wasn't. After a little over a year in this house she has suffered illness after illness. Since November she has not been healthy one full week! She has had the stomach flu 3 times, too many colds and fevers to count, and just never feels good.

I finally declared WAR! The main problem is that we don't own our home. We live in a parsonage and that means it is owned by the church my husband co-pastors.

The church was so wonderful and gracious in doing a ton of remodeling before we moved in. We practically have an entire, brand new upstairs - new carpets and floors, new bathrooms, new kitchen, and all new paint. It is hard to think of all the work we now need done in the basement and asking for their help to do it. But we cannot ignore it any longer.

I have been spending a lot of time tearing out moldy sheetrock and treating walls and floors with bleach. We also are trying out some heavy duty air purifiers and arguing over the purchase of them. Of course I think we need one for the main house and another one for our daughter's room. My husband thinks one will be enough.

My most discouraging moment came today when I used a mirror and light to look in the wall behind the bathtub/shower. I am so afraid that what I see is mold and the only way to get to it and clean it is to rip out the surround. This would also mean taking out the toilet. We have already had help to take out the old sink and vanity, clean the mold, and put in a pedestal sink. But, the mirror shows the same blackness that I saw in a corner that I could reach and when I bleached it the blackness disappeared indicating that it was mold. It is only along the floor and not the whole wall, but still, the only way to reach it is ripping things apart. And what if I am wrong? Or what if that little bit doesn't matter (although I have a hard time believing that).

Please pray that we make the right decisions, that we present it accurately to the church, that it is received well, that they are enthusiastic to help and that God provides the expenses needed. I am SO willing to take out a loan to fix everything so that our daughter can be healthy even though we don't own the house.

Well, off to get lunch for my crew and then put the dryer back in place so I can wash and dry clothes (the wall behind the dryer is shared by the tub on the other side - so I moved the dryer to tear out the sheetrock).

Later -

I'm My Favorite Flower!

2006-03-25T09:48:00.000-08:00

Just for fun I took this quiz a cyberfriend had on her blog. Thought I'd add the link to my own blog. Gain some insight into your personality and take the quiz yourself! Here's my results:

You Are A Lily

You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist.
People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you.
You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words.
Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize.

What Flower Are You?

A taste of my book beginnings...

2006-03-11T07:19:00.000-08:00

In my studies for my book I came across I Corinthians 11:5-10, "And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head-it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head. (from New International Version)

Now, I know there is A LOT in that passage that raises questions! I have been reading a lot of commentaries and studying the Greek/Hebrew as best I can. I have an idea or "twist" that has been formulating and I am praying and reading more to see if there be truth in my idea.

The basic "jist" is this - since the garden of Eden woman has had an incredible amount of power or influence over man. Adam did not even hesitate to take a bite of the forbidden fruit from Eve. I dare say that if the serpant had approached Adam, he would have refused with no problem. But woman? Ahhhhhh, the spell she puts him under.

It is because of this power, I believe, that Paul was asking the women to cover themselves when speaking - to remove all distraction and ensure that the words spoken were pure and from God and not just the allure and manipulations of a woman. The word "meek" has also been used in this passage and I heard a great definition of meekness - it is "power under control". The word is used in reference to a lion in the NT I believe. So it is not a definition of weakness or a subordinate, but of much power choosing to be gentle and subdued. A woman choosing to be submissive out of love and respect for her husband, knowing the power and manipulation she COULD use over him would be ungodly.

I have other scriptures, Greek/Hebrew root words, etc. that I will be using in my book to further back this up.

It has been eye-opening and humbling! I don't think we could ever exhaust the depths of a Proberbs 31 woman!

My bottom line has always been this - the Proverbs 31 woman is such an incredibly high standard that the only way we can "measure up" is to surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit and use his fruit to accomplish the many tasks. God did that on purpose - why would we need him if we could do it on our own?

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes

2006-03-09T07:48:00.000-08:00

My son and I have been spending moments every day painting. Sounds like a fun Mommy-Son time, huh? Actually, it has been. But wait until you hear just WHAT we have been painting. His comic book. Well, it isn't actually a comic book but a digest of the Marvel X-Men. My son loves superheroes and pours over anything associated with them. When Hubby and I saw this digest, we didn't hesitate to buy it. We figured it wouldn't be full of violence since there were no stories, just stats, etc. about each character. What it was full of was a shocker! Here's an article I posted about the experience.

OH BE CAREFUL LITTLE EYES

I am shocked, horrified, but surprised? No, not one bit. Of what do I speak? Pornography – in my son’s comic book character encyclopedia! Without really do my homework, I gave in to his pleas and bought the book for him at our school’s book fair. He poured over that book even before it was even paid for. I felt pretty confident in the purchase at the time. Since this was not an actual comic book, just information on all the characters, I didn’t worry about violence and never dreamed the following would happen.

While looking at the book with his father, my son pointed out a particular page that he was drawn to. On that page there was a line-up of superheroes, and every one of the women were drawn in sexy lingerie! My husband was horrified that our 4 year old son had just been exposed to something we had tried so hard to protect him from.

With our son being only four years old, we couldn’t fully explain to him what was so disturbing to us, nor could we explain to him just WHY he was so drawn to those pictures. We did, however, discuss modesty and privacy and point out that those women were not being modest. We also told him that they were dishonoring him by not respecting God’s protection of privacy. He connected with that.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us to, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Matthew 5:27, 28 says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his HEART.” (emphasize mine) This is very sobering! From Jesus’ very lips we are told that what we allow before our eyes, or our sons eyes, can lead to sin!

In a corrupt, sensual society it is impossible not to see sensual images. However, it is possible to deal with them in a Godly manner. 2 Corinthians 10:5b advises us that “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” It is our hope that our son will develop this discipline, but I’m afraid the concept is a bit beyond him at the age of four. That means it is our responsibility to guard his heart. If we do not, we are not leading him into a wellspring of life, but rather into a cesspool of death. Anyone addicted or caught in the world of pornography would be quick to agree that that is an accurate description.

So, what did we do? Momma got creative with the craft paints and is happy to say that all the female characters have been re-outfitted by her masterful design and exhibit perfect modesty. We also have a new rule that NO material comes into our home without a complete inspection by both parents. This may become a rule that is bucked and resented, but we are confident it is worth sticking to and even fighting over.

I also plan to contact Scholastic and ask them to remove the book from their book fair. We were able to deal with the damage quickly and pray that Jesus will forgive us for our irresponsibility and protect our son from negative effects. I'm not so confident that a lot of other parents are doing the same. I shudder to think of all the young boys even now starting down a destructive path as a result of this book!

Our children need us to guard their hearts and our society needs us to stand up for what we know is right! I can't change the whole world, but I do have a world of influence over one young man in the making. Someday, Lord willing, he will have a world of influence over his own young man in the making. May I have the strength and wisdom to affect our future by doing right by these two lives.

All scriptures quoted from the New International Version.

Still here...

2006-03-04T07:59:00.000-08:00

It's been a bit of a spell since I've posted! Just wanted to say that I am still here, still plugging away at life.

I have a book project! I am in the study process and have a feeling this will be taking a while. However, I am very excited about what I will learn and the final book outcome. My plan is to write a book of "daily reflections" on Proverbs 31 and what that looks like to us as woman of today. Since I have yet to figure it out, I again say - this will be taking awhile. But the journey looks exciting!

Family life is getting a bit chaotic lately. I'm not sure where the problem lies, but my son seems to "melt-down" quite a bit lately. I thought maybe he was just getting sick (daughter had the stomach flu for the 3rd time since September!) but that never came to be - thank goodness! I think he is just bored. He is such a people person and has never been one to play well by himself. With his sister in school, Dad pretty busy, and me kind of "vacant" lately, I think he just feels lost. He has a friend he likes to play with but doesn't get together with him often. I should invite him over more, but I just don't seem to have what it takes to manage 2 boys, lately. Could be part of the grieving process we are all still working through.

I have been so unmotivated! I can think of a million things that should be done, yet I struggle to care to do any one of them. I did go to the doctor yesterday and I do have a bit of an infection. This could be part of that lack of motivation - I just don't feel well. But I sense it is more than just that.

Laundry is calling (it's "clean sheet saturday"!) and I really want to write an article for this weeks challenge. So I best be going, just wanted to check-in. I hope you all have a lovely day!

"To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me." Colossians 1:29 NIV

My Name In Print!

2006-02-12T14:34:00.000-08:00

The Faithwriter's book is finally out and my story is in it! My links to Faithwriter's never seem to work, but I'll give it another try. I'll also add a link to Amazon who sells it as well. I am so excited! I hope you buy a copy and support Faithwriter's - an awesome ministry to Christian writers!

Faithwriters link to Journey of Faith

Amazon link to Journey of Faith

Who Am I?

2006-02-01T08:06:00.000-08:00

For the past few years I have been on a quest to discover who I REALLY am and what my purpose really is. It has been neat to sense the change within myself and grow more confident in what God has created in me.

I have always struggled with a low self-esteem. I think my biggest problem has been my continual comparison of myself to people I admire. Of course I don't measure up or "match" because of the very simple fact that I AM NOT THEM! I will never be them and I was never intended to be them. What a freedom that realization has brought!

I marvel at my awesome God and his love for me and his attention to me. In the past month as I have been searching very specifically for my identity and purpose as a writer, God has made some pretty profound "statements". For those of you who don't know him well, he often uses circumstances in your life to speak his heart. I have never heard him audibly speak, but without a doubt he has made his will known to me in my circumstances!

Here's how he has done that this month. Recently in a prayer time, I asked him to show me if my writing was supposed to be more than it is now. I have had a couple of very short stories published in a newspaper and one story won 4th place in a weekly contest and is being published in a collection of short stories. I also write puppet skits almost every week and perform them for council time for our AWANA program. These things have given me experience, brief exposure, and a ton of fun! But I still wonder if I am supposed to do more. My lack of confidence says, "No way, you CAN'T do that. Who are you that you could ever write something that someone else would want to read?"

Then my husband and I happen to catch the same elevator as the speaker mentioned in the last post. Now I have a contact with a well known publishing company (which, I have not contacted yet, but plan to this month). Then, this week my Bible Study group started a new study on none other than - finding your identity. There is a growing sense in me that, yes, I am to continue writing. However, if I continue writing WITHOUT seeking God and his desire for my writing, it will be of no value other than just entertainment. I don't want that. I have such a heart to affect people in such a way that they come away changed - for the positive.

So, I shall continue on my journey and look forward to where it will take me - wherever that may be!

A Contact!

2006-01-28T09:38:00.000-08:00

So, how does this figure with the previous post?

Hubby and I were at a conference with an excellent speaker who has written many non-fiction books. In the course of conversation with him he gives me the name of his editor and encourages me to meet with her and seek to be a reader for the publishing company. This will give me exposure to the company and the inside track of publishing, plus it will help sharpen my skills as I edit and comment.

I am terrified of blowing this contact and turning it into a negative first impression and not a good one because of my struggle with confidence. I have ideas, but am not ready to embark on a book writing adventure...yet.

I haven't called to set up the appointment. I am praying and asking for help from God in timing and confidence! Would you do the same?

Thanks!

American Idol . . . Writer's style

2006-01-17T18:45:00.000-08:00

On a rare evening home curled up by my hubby we are being entertained by the American Idol try-outs on the telly. What a riot! I love hearing my husband's laugh.

As usual, the evening has got me thinking. I have a pretty good voice - I sing on our church worship team, I do an occasional solo - but NEVER in a thousand years would I delude myself into thinking I am of the caliber that could make me a professional!

Then I started thinking about my writing. As I type this and watch American Idol, I am also writing another Pirate skit for tomorrow night. The kids really enjoy them and I even get a chuckle from the adults with them, but they are painfully amateur!

I am feeling like a mediocre queen! I can sing fine, but not that fine. I can write fine, but not that fine. I can act fine, but not that fine? I would love to excel at one of these and do it very well, but do I have it in me? And to what purpose? Self exaltation? Recognition? Worth?

Ah, the real question is this - am I just suffering from a lack of confidence or is this a healthy dose of reality? I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually.

My Plea and Desire for 2006

2006-01-06T07:07:00.000-08:00

As I look to a new year, I reflect on the last one. I've come to realize that the moments that mean the most to me were the ones in which someone touched my heart or emotions. What I don't recall are the exact number of times I scrubbed the kitchen floor, how many meals I cooked, how many times my children cleaned their toys up without reminders, or if the bills were all payed on time. These things are a necessary part of daily life and need to be done for health and responsibility - but they are not the center of life!

Many times when I read an account of healing in the Bible, Jesus reached out and touched the emotional needs of the one sick.

In Mark chapter 1 it says, "A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, 'If you are willing, you can make me clean.' Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. (from New International Version) In those days, NO ONE touched a person with leprosy! It was so contagious and feared that those with the disease were banished from the city. If the disease did not kill them, starvation, animals, or the elements did. Who knows how long it had been since this man had felt the loving touch of another. The fact that Jesus reached out and TOUCHED the man first communicates so much more compassion than his words could.

In Matt 9:22 we read this account, "Some men brought to him a paralytic, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven." (from New International Version) We don't know a lot about this man, but in a historical study you find that sexually transmitted diseases were alive and well. Without the medical knowledge we are now priviledged with, many suffered advanced stages - one of which was paralysis. It is possible that this man suffered from one of those diseases. Jesus' words of forgiveness did more for this man's anguish than the physical healing that followed.

These examples are tugging on my heart today. I am ashamed at how little I communicate my caring in actual action. I can have someone on my mind and lift them in prayer all day long, but if they do not SEE evidence of my caring in my actions, their hearts are not blessed.

My plea is that God would show me how to move beyond myself and touch people's emotional needs. I have the gift of hospitality, but I am so busy meeting physical needs so often that I have become blind to the emotional needs of those around me. My resolution is to tune in more to the emotional needs of my husband, children, family, and those around me. I want to reach out to loneliness, sadness, hopelessness, and bless with companionship, joy, and hope! I need prayer to do that!

I think of Jesus' words in Matt 26:41, "The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." That sums it up. I have a heart to reach out in compassion, but I lack the discipline to follow through.

I feel I even fail in meeting the emotional needs of my family. I work hard to make sure they are fed well, clean, and have all the "stuff" they need, but I so rarely take time out to truly talk to my children and connect on an emotional level. I also RARELY take time out to hear what my husband is NOT saying but showing. Of course communication has been a sore issue with us for a LONG time - especially my husbands inability to see just what his actions are communicating! But I think I could do a better job of reaching out and helping him communicate. I see that as a huge emotional need of his - to be understood - and he needs me to help him learn to communicate by asking the right questions with sensitivity to the right time and gentle ways.

Those in our church need to know how dear they are to me and need to hear from me not just in passing on a Sunday morning.

The thing I fear most is how much of my comforts I will have to give up to make this happen. I hate being on the phone making small talk - yet that might just be what someone needs. I already find myself so stretched for time, that I dread to think of losing a morning to sitting drinking coffee and visiting with someone - yet what a perfect time for someone to be heard. I hate a messy house - although ours always seems to be in that state! I hate the idea of having to get up an hour earlier to have my personal devotions and be showered BEFORE my children get up to give them some extra personal time with Momma - yet a bright, full, ready-to-go Momma is a wonderful gift to give my children. I also hate that getting up earlier means I have to go to bed earlier. The ONLY time I use to read a good book (and I LOVE reading!) is at night before I go to sleep. In order to be able to keep this part of my day, I will have to spend the entire evening running to get dinner cleaned up, kids bathed or played with, and in bed early enough to allow me to turn in early. (Most evenings my husband is back off to work before dinner is even cleaned up. That means it just takes extra time to put the kids to bed because I don't have his help to get jammies on and teeth brushed while I do the dishes and pray with one child while he prays with the other.)

I pray for the unselfishness I need to be an emotional blessing to others. I pray for the discipline and maturity I need to follow the heart of Christ.

With all that said, I have to go jump in the shower (nope, didn't follow my plan today) and then finish making thank-you cards for all the dear people who blessed us with cards and gifts this Christmas and cards of sympathy in the passing of my husband's father. Then I also have a son (yes, he is fed, washed, dressed - physical needs taken care of) who is desperately bored while his sister is in school and he needs attention, and then there is also a gentleman who's wife has alzheimers and they are moving today - I bet there's a need I could fill there!

I pray for wisdom to know WHICH needs to meet - I could run myself ragged trying to please! I need to remember that Jesus knew just who to heal and when. I can't find it right now, but I know that there is a passage of scripture that also says that he healed through the power of God. It is through that same power that I can meet emotional needs and will know just which ones to meet.

Aye yi yi! So much to take in and do! It can seem so overwhelming! I will close with my verse for the year:

Col 1:28-29 "To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me." (from New International Version)

Happy New Year!

Homecoming

2005-12-28T21:46:00.000-08:00

Dad J. went home to be with Jesus tonight. What a blessed time it was! As his breathing changed, my husband and his sisters surrounded Dad’s bed and read him his favorite scriptures. We then called Mom in and we all held hands and prayed. As we released Dad into Jesus’ arms with our words, he slipped away. His ultimate hearts desire is now fulfilled. He is in the presence of his Saviour – the one who loved him unconditionally, died for his sin, and extended grace, forgiveness, and now eternal life with him in heaven. What a sad yet treasured night this will always be.

Thank you for all you gave us – we love you, Dad!

Bittersweet Christmas

2005-12-27T12:01:00.000-08:00

From the first exciting moment of finding that perfect tree, the first ornament that starts the decorating tradition, the smells of Christmas baking, the familiar story read from Luke, the wild paper tearing and squeals of delight, to the heartbreaking moments of reality. While this may be the last Christmas we will spend with Dad J., the man we want to remember - the confident dad that could fix about anything, the Grandpa that loved to take walks with his granddaughter or show his grandson his latest airplane model - left us already after Thanksgiving. While we rejoice to be able to give Dad one last Christmas day kiss, we mourn that he will never remember it. Memories of this Christmas will be mixed with memories of morphine being added to the medication list, extra bed pads and wipes, groans replacing laughs, and the hospital bed where the Christmas tree used to be.

Yet we still have a hope, a peace, that none of this can dim. Dad knew that the first Christmas gift ever, Jesus - God's own son, was the most important gift he ever accepted. He held out this gift to his children and each one of them accepted it as well. His grandchildren have also embraced this gift and in so doing, his legacy continues. It is a legacy of life. (to be continued...)

In the Rearview Mirror...

2005-12-12T07:03:00.000-08:00

Last night we once again hosted our annual Open House for our church family. What a fun time of year! While the days leading up to it are often busy and a bit stressed, the pay off in time with dear friends is worth it!

Cranberry Meatballs, Reuben Dip with fresh Pumpernickel Bread, Fiesta Cheesecake, Fruit, Cheese, and Veggie plates, and of course our now "famous" Mint Mocha Punch were a few of the dishes that made a showing . . . and quick disappearance.

We took a few minutes out to take some family shots in front of the Christmas tree. I think my "frazzled" state showed up in the picture! We did get a nice one that we used in our Christmas Letter.

With the Open House done, I feel the world is at my fingertips! Of course I know it's all a lie, but I want to revel in the disallusion for awhile and catch my breath before the holiday onslaught in a couple of weeks.

Off to revel with a smile on my face . . .

Down But Not Out

2005-12-02T09:49:00.000-08:00

There are times when the truth about life can seem overwhelming. What are some of the truths? Death, betrayal, pain, tiredness, stress, pressures of time and expectations - just to name a few.

Today seems to be on of those times for me. I am surrounded by piles of unsorted mail, dirty dishes, children's school papers, dirty laundry, clean laundry to be put away, unmade beds, a son who needs yet ANOTHER round of antibiotics, and an open house to get ready for that we are hosting in one week and 1 day! We are still working through the struggles of knowing my Father-in-Law's time with us is short as he loses his battle with cancer, and now today we heard the news that my sister-in-law did not come home AGAIN last night because she was with another man.

What should have been my day to get some major work done has become refocused! My husband is now spending 12 hours of his 1 day off a week with my brother to help him out in any way he can (and he is glad he has the freedom today to do that). I will now be toting my sick son with me to my lunch appointment, and when my daughter comes home from school she will be joining us in my trip to an open house that was supposed to be my "away time" where I could just be me and have a few moments alone and not be mom.

I should be depressed, down in the dumps, and whining. But that's the beauty of Christ and living by his Spirit! While it is not my favorite day or even favorite time in life right now, I am not left without hope. Why? Because of a few promises I can cling to.

In Hebrews 13:5 it says that God has said, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."

In 2 Corinthians 12:9 God said to the Apostle Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

I am not walking through all this alone! Right in the middle of all this is the very creator of the universe, the one who carefully fashioned me in my mother's womb!

Ps 139:13-14 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

I just love the first part of that Psalm as well.

Psalms 139:1-10

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in--behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast."

Look at verses 5 and 6. How often when things are chaos around you or you are walking through painful events and emotions do you long for a comfy pair of sweats and sweatshirt and want to curl up in a soft blanket? God is the ultimate comfort!
He "hems me in--behind and before; he has laid his hand upon me." Can't you just feel his strength and security? He completely surrounds and holds secure!

I also know that God is merciful and can change ANY heart! I love this passage from Job.

Job 33:26-30
"He prays to God and finds favor with him, he sees God's face and shouts for joy; he is restored by God to his righteous state. Then he comes to men and says, 'I sinned, and perverted what was right, but I did not get what I deserved. He redeemed my soul from going down to the pit,and I will live to enjoy the light.' "God does all these things to a man - twice, even three times - to turn back his soul from the pit,that the light of life may shine on him."

This is my prayer for my Sister-in-Law - that she would pray to God and find favor with him and that he would change her INSIDE and out.

2 Corinthians 5:17-18
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

Ephesians 4:22-24
"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds;"

May God renew her in the attitude of her mind that she be made whole and complete and that her longings be satisfied!

Ah, I really have to get back to life now and dive into those dirty dishes and laundry. This time has been theraputic for me, however, because again I find strength and renewed determination to meet all challenges head on because I know the one who is holding me has proven himself to be Lord over ALL!

AMEN!

A Thanksgiving Blessing

2005-11-24T17:29:00.000-08:00

Words cannot even express the thank-fulness we feel this
Thanksgiving. My Father-in-Law's cancer has been getting the best of him lately - except today. Just yesterday it took a half an hour just to help him to the bathroom. He would take a step and slip into another world and forget that he was in the process of walking. My husband would have to cheer him on and remind him to put one foot in front of the other. He also said at one point, "I know someone in our family is very sick. That's why everyone is here." When he was told it was him, it just didn't register.

Today now, he has been sitting up in the chair, eating his meals, and actually smiling and having brief conversations with us. We feel so blessed for this little reprieve! What a treasure this day will be!

Taste and see that the Lord is good. His mercies are new every morning!

Story Soup

2005-10-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

It's cold and gloomy today so I thought a pot of soup would be good. Since cybor soup just doesn't taste as good as the real thing, I thought I'd give you "eye soup" - a collection of short stories I have written. I've created a new blog to post my stories. Hope you enjoy them!

A Sampling of Short Stories

It's about time!

2005-09-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

Time flies when you're running around like a chicken with her head cut off!! I really can't believe I have ignored my blog for so long! Of course, with the lack of hits it's not like it really matters much anyway. I have come to the conclusion that I have a lot to learn about reaching out in this cyber world and that this blog is more for me than anyone else.

What has been filling my time, you ask? PIRATES!! Yes, how romantic, how daring, how exciting! Let me introduce you to Capt'n Perry PiRat and TrueBeard.

Okay, so they're not exactly Capt'n Jack Sparrow, but they have been a blast!

I took on the daunting task of writing 11 puppet skits to use for our AWANA council times. I chose a pirate theme because, well, I just did. It seemed like a fun idea. I also chose to make this a series on the Fruit of the Spirit. When I am done I may very well embark on my first publishing adventure and publish them in a book of puppet skits. We shall see how it goes and what connections I can find to make it happen!

Besides writing the skits, I made the costumes for the puppets, designed and painted the pirate ship, and am performing the skits! I did have help cutting out the ship and a crew of great guys built the basic puppet theater.

The first skit went over very well. My brother-in-law helped me out and did the voice for the other puppet. He's so talented in just about every way he makes you want to vomit with jealousy. Of course he did an incredible job! Here's a picture of me puppets in action.

The other thing, besides motherhood and housekeeping, that has been occupying my time is a venture into poetry! I have never really understood poetry and have definately never written it. My curiousity has won me over and I am reading, reading, reading, and doing more reading to try to catch a hold of it. I have written one part of a poem and did get some positive feedback on it from my online writer's group. I have another perculating in my head and may have to post it for my next post. If I follow my trend as of late, I have plenty of time to work on it before posting! Ha, ha!

Oh dear, our toy room has completely taken over our basement and from the sounds drifting to my ears, it may have taken over my son!!! I best be getting back to my primary job as Queen of the World (at least in our house) and rescue my charge!

Blessings!

Tammy

A Bride Most Begrudging

2005-08-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

I just finished a really fun christian romance book. No, I didn't write it, but I wish I had! It is light, funny, hearbreaking, and I want another! You can check it all out here:

Author's Blog

A Bride Most Begrudging on Amazon

This book is #1 on the CBD Best sellers list and I know why! I had so much fun reading it. I'm off to email the author and thank her for this book and beg for another!!

Happy reading!

Forgiving Solomon Long

2005-07-20T12:16:00.000-07:00

Hey, here's a Christian fiction book that looks really interesting. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it is on my list of books I'd like to check out. You can find out more here:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/07369140
56/qid=1119372503/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-5862885-1587911

or you can find out more about the author, etc. here:

http://www.forgivingsolomonlong.com

I hope you find it interesting and give it a try. Let me know what you think in the comments section of this post. I'd like to hear opinions.

I realize I haven't posted much in a long time. Life just gets pretty full! I am happy to report, however, that part of the busyness has been time well spent with my kids and trips to the beach. The rewards are beyond words!

Blessings to you!

How's Your Soul?

2005-07-07T14:48:00.000-07:00

I have come to the computer several times today. Each time I ask myself, "Why am I here?" Each time I have had a different answer: To check emails, to rewrite one of my stories so I can find a home for it, to work on my story for this week's challenge, to find meaning and purpose?

I finally discovered what is the problem. My soul is out of peace. I tried to do my devotions at the beach today while my children played. The problem was, this is the third trip to the beach this week and my daughter is done with the beach thing. So I didn't get my devotions or Bible study done today. Bingo! I am missing whatever it is my Jesus has to say to me today.

If anyone happens on this blog and doesn't take time out to read God's word or go through it with a study book, I so strongly encourage you to do so. Even if you don't understand a word you read, God will honor your devotion and desire and just fill you with his presence.

I went through a time when I was reading the Old Testament and it was DRY. I really didn't care who begat who at that point and just wanted to be done! But as I hung in there, I began to see the character of God in the stories, dealings, and even the geneologies. Did you know that Jesus Christ had incest and prostitution in his family line? I no longer lament my screwed up family background. If the one who defeated DEATH came from a mess, than there is no limit to what that same one can do through me.

I challenge you to read just 2 pages of the Bible a day - no more, no less. See what happens. God will reward your faithfulness, just keep yourself open to him.

Happy reading!

The Foundation of Our Greatness

2005-07-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

America is great. It is a nation sought after by others. Other nations do have financial prosperity, freedom, and provide a decent way of life, but dare I say not to the extent of our nation? I may be playing into the arrogance of our nation by that comment, but I do believe America is different and blessed - so far. Why?

Alexis de Tocqueville visited America at the height of the Second Great Awakening as revivals were sweeping across the country. Tocqueville repeatedly marveled at the number of different American churches, at their mutual toleration, and at the focus on morality in this country. A famous quote has been attributed to him, though not verified, but it squares with his overall view of religious life in America in 1831.

"Not until I went into the churches of America and heard her pulpits flame with righteousness did I understand the secret of her genius and power. America is great because she is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, she will cease to be great."

I think our nation owes its prosperity and blessing to God and God alone. Our founding father's were far from perfect. Sins abounded and personal lives were a mess, but all had a respect for God.

King David of the Bible has been nicknamed, "A man after God's own heart".

"After removing Saul, he made David their king. He testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.'"
Acts 13:22 New International Version

King David was far from perfect. His life included many of the sins found in some of our founding fathers' lives. Why then is he called a man after God's own heart? Because when all was said and done, he always turned back to the God who made him and anointed him king. David knew that all his wealth, talent, and tremendous abilities did not come from inside himself, but it was all placed there by God.

I see a picture of our nation in the kingdom of David. Our founding fathers knew that our nations wealth, talent, and tremendous abilities would not come from inside itself, but because it would be placed there by God.

I heard a speaker once and cannot for the life of me remember his name or book. What I do remember is his statement that the separation of church and state was instituted NOT to keep the church out of the state, but to keep the state out of the church. They knew that if we lost our foundation of God, we would lose our strength.

I fear for the future of our nation if we continue in our arrogance and dependence on ourselves to keep our nation great. What happened to David's great kingdom? It was destroyed and taken over because its people turned their backs on the one who made them great.

"In God We Trust" is foundational to our success as a nation. I believe our nation is testing this statement and it is in crisis. I hope that many discover before it is too late that YES, the mighty can fall.

Rainy Day Ramblings

2005-06-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

If you sit really quiet, you can almost hear the "gulp, gulp, gulp" of the ground as rain falls gently, soaking everything under it.

Okay, not really, but this day is a lot like me. With all the busyness of getting ready for a wedding and now planning for our church's Vacation Bible School, I have been really lax at feeding my soul...and it is parched!

I am so thankful for this rainy day! No matter what is on my plate today, I will be taking some time out to feed my thirsty soul as the rain quenches our thirsty ground.

Thank you, Lord, for rainy days and the reminder of the condition of my soul. Bless my time at your feet and refresh me as only you can do. I ask for this filling so that I can be a blessing to those around me and not suck them dry with my emptiness. Help me to truly see my husband and children and be sensitive to their needs and wisdom to know how to meet them. I especially ask for your insight to see unspoken or even unrealized needs in my daughter. Show me how to draw her in. In Jesus' name, Amen.

A revelation of respect.

2005-06-27T11:43:00.000-07:00

I am SLOWLY working through a marriage book right now called, "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It has been very good, but very hard to swallow. I have always been under the impression that respect must be earned. I am discovering that some respect should be given unconditionally. Just as I long for my husband to love and show love to me regardless of my acitons or faults, my husband longs for me to respect and show respect to him regardless of his actions or faults.

I have really been struggling with this concept. Today a light when on during my ladies' bible study.

In I Samuel chapter 24 King Saul is still in pursuit of David. Saul takes time out to "go potty" in the very cave that David and his men are hiding in. David's men tell David, "This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, 'I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.'" (I Samuel 24:4 New International Version)

David creeps up on Saul and cuts off a corner of his robe. Once Saul leaves the cave and starts on his way David calls out to Saul and bows down prostrate with his face to the ground. Then he explains what has happened to Saul. Part of his explaination is this, "This day you have seen with your own eyes how the Lord delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, 'I will not lift my hand against my master, because he is the Lord's anointed.'"

Saul's response is to weep. "You are more righteous than I," he says. (I Samuel 24:17 NIV) In verse 19 he also says, "When a man finds his enemy, does he let him get away unharmed? May the Lord reward you well for the way you treated me today."

In essence, David respected Saul - not because of Saul earning it, but because of God's anointing of Saul.

After reading that I got a bit of a grasp on unconditional respect. I fully believe my husband is a gift from God and that God chose him to be my husband. My respect for him should not be based on what he does. David's respect for Saul certainly was not based on Saul's actions. My respect can flow freely for my husband because of my respect for the God who gave him to me.

Actually, my job is easier than David's because at his very core my husband desires to do me good and love me unconditionally - not destroy me like Saul desired to do to David. And the reward for this? The Lord's reward - I would think that my marriage would be blessed and my relationship with my husband become much more fulfilling than if I continue to disrespect him.

Does any of this make sense? I just hope that this "revelation" will stick in my memory and I will be able to put it into practice the next time my husband needs me to respect him for who he is and not tear him down and measure him only by his faults.

Let's face it, if he measured me only by my faults, he'd be long gone!!!!

What am I doing?

2005-06-26T16:19:00.000-07:00

This is a completely new endeaver for me. A friend of mine told me once I should write a book with all my tips, etc. I decided this would be cheaper and more fun. Now, if I could just figure out how to do this? Hopefully I will figure this out before too long. Can't wait to share tidbits of life.